Here's the thing, I'm completely cool with who I am and what I do. And yes, I do realize this is a terribly vague statement that applies to every aspect of my life. However, it doesn't come easily, the whole being "cool" with it, especially when it comes to your craft blog. But, it does and/or can happen over time if you generally put in a great effort to just being a GREAT you, a true you. Am I the " GREATEST?", no…but, I strive. And ultimately, I believe that is this action, that is the fundamental difference between living at YOUR fullest and just "living."
That's why I can feel comfortable with cussing. Hell, shit, fuck… all good. Why? Because it's just flavor. Like adding seasoning to plain old chicken breast. You're offended, that's okay, I respect you not following me. Everyone has choices and I make mine. I choose to swear. I like it and no matter who poo-poo's it… it always feels good to me and mine, so I embrace that. And, ultimately, YOU have to be okay with you, regardless. I like me, cuss and all.
36 is an amazing year. I actually said that about most of my middle 30's, however… they do SERIOUSLY get richer. Who fucking knew?! I couldn't even begin to grasp this quote (see below) before my 33rd birthday. Now, Take me or leave me… either way, I'm good.
So, I'll shoot you straight. I'm no saint, I'm in fact a sinner in many o' biblical ways, but I BELIEVE… Your soul can be magic, can be good, even Great really… and even to others, while you sin. Some may be unable to ever express this outward to another, other's never more than a subtle, silent gesture. But, some of us, can make a larger ripple. And it's that thought, that ripple, that keeps this blog alive within me. That hope of. That filthy Ripple.
When I created this blog so many years ago, I thought it was going to be this big, grand, great recipe. A recipe to and/or for sewing, to fabric & the designers of thus, to the people within it, this creative online world. I actually wanted that. Now, I've played that game (I've been privileged with newspaper articles, magazine write-ups, radio programs, book contributions, and even my own book.) and I'm not interested in the game anymore. It comes with such a "high" demand. Demands for everything and every ones who wants them. That, why I'm done. I'm cool with just being me. Sewing when my family life allows for it (not to my insecurities), showing my creations (without feeling an anxiety inducing "need" to give additional directions in how to create it), and to "write" on my blog without the need to "care take" to my audience. What once was, is no more. For here, anyways... at my HOUSE.
Ultimately it, this blog, has grown into a "being" of it's own that I do hope, has been perceived as a "rest stop" within conformity IN THE END. A stop that might have brought you PERSONALLY; a simple surprise along our way, maybe even made you stop and ponder something, a sense of a bonding-strangeness maybe?, anything other than the typical, tutorial craft blog. "Why," you ask? Not because there is anything at ALL wrong with those educational blogs, but rather that they are ultimately… just, not me. This is my true hope for my House. My House of A La Mode. A space within. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. A space within, that is for pure enjoyment. No real knowledge, no real direction, no real "space" in your life that would create ANY frustration. Yep, no frustration over any of the following; doubt, creativity, ability, inadequacies, finical restrictions, or any other negative connotations that could arise from perusing such craft blogs.
Why should this work? Why should I not have to beat the pavement of the other craft/sewing-world-blogs??? Kiss every ones ass, re-create the wheel, jump through every time-sucking hoop for others and the possibility of the "new" followers??….. Because. BECAUSE! If, it this doesn't succeed, this blog. I don't give a shit. I'm NOT loosing anything over the time I put in here, because I'm just being ME and ME is all I need to succeed in MY life. In the end of the day, this is not MY JOB, but my hobby! That's why, I CHOOSE NOT to join the rat race. I CHOOSE ME.
I'm kinda great to everyone that matters to me. And that'll always be enough to them. I'm enough.
You may feel the need to express your emotions over this post, and I might need to empress my decision to delete them. You may get this and you may not. However, I'm writing this ultimately, TO 2014, YOU ARE MY AUDIENCE. Between me and you. I am going to exploit you every time I get. I am going to take advantage of you at every moment I see and when you think you shouldn't be looking towards my way… I will be plotting against you. Against, any and all, who might think me week in achieving my ultimate goal, happiness. I so fucking got this. Period.
So, if you just read this entire post… pull up your big-girl panties sisters & brothers and get serious about spending your newly "given", NOT granted, year … and kick ass, take names. YOU deserve it!!!
As my 16 old would say, "YOLO."